The proper pride that holds a child in both hands with love (2)
From;    Author:Stand originally

4 principles protect child proper pride

1. Notice critical skill

When criticizing the child, should tell the child explicitly above all -- this kind of behavior that what you do not like is him only, and be not him himself. The parent also does not want blindly reprimand child, can choose " you are done so, mom is very sad " , " we to you this kind of behavior feels very disappointed " such statement will criticize the child. Such saying that expressed the hope to him on one hand, make his generation is gone against not easily also on the other hand return a mood.

2. Accord child's proper right

The parent can let him child choose the style of the decoration of the room, dress, favorite friend to wait a moment. But the decision that avoid by all means feels inappropriate to overthrow him again again after the child makes a choice, this meeting hurts the child's proper pride greatly. If you feel the child is in the ability of this respect is very limited, can give him 3 two options at the same time: "Do you like pink, yellow or blue? " , " morning Lian Qin or experienced in the evening musical instrument? " etc.

3. Protect good child's successful desire

The parent should be in when dabble is liked, the child just helps the child enter true path, make he feels the fun of results, be full of self-confidence to learning. If the child is in,failed at the beginning, he can think oneself this respect capacity is insufficient and one farewell avoids the activity of this respect.

To the child, encourage the child to join campaign more, help them develop athletic mastery of a skill or technique, also affecting their position in the companion and their proper pride greatly, more such to the boy.

4. Go loving the child whole-heartedly

Some moment, the parent can express their love so to the child: "You are done really well, mom likes you such " , " you this is really clever, father feels proud for you. " but, often can feel in the child's heart parental unspoken words in a play left to the understanding of the audience or reader is: If once be behaved badly, father mother won't like you again.

This plants parents to love conditionally, often can make the child evaluates along with the wave motion of external event change to his. If things go on like this, once the business grows smoothly,the child can become complacent and complacent, not successful when the person that can become abandonment. This is the expression of a kind of low self-esteem actually.

The parent should tell the child, want to be passed hard only, calculate failure, everybody or meeting are flourish with him. Know when the child oneself live in parents heart and soul in love, he can feel he is worth others to love, he is valuable, this let the child be full of self-confidence and have dignity feeling.

Tip: The child produces the crucial point of proper pride

Consider to discover, 4 years old mix 7 years old is the crucial age that child proper pride develops. Duan Zheng of these two ages is the phase that children self-awareness forms. At that time the child is thinking " who am I " , " my ability how " , " I denounce others like " , " my value wheres " such problem.
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